What I Know for Sure by Alexandra Teague
When I look at my abdomen, I see a scar turning back to lighter skin from where a surgeon cut five inches across, and just before this, I remember trying to stop screaming as my intestine ruptured by reciting names-first middle and last- of everyone I could think of, though I do not know for sure if I got all the middle names right, or if I have ever known yours. In last Thursday's Kansas City Star, I saw a photo of an x-ray of a man's head imbedded with a nailgun nail that, according to the story, had missed his eyes and seven centers of planning and purpose inside his frontal lobe and done, really, no damage. The doctors called this a true miracle, which made me think that death does not happen by cause and effect, though I do not know for sure that the story or picture or both had not been doctored to improve circulation, as though printed words and paper are, the same as us, a living body. My parents gave me the middle name Rachael for its numerological value, and my whole name therefore adds up to seven, which is said to be lucky. The pre-surgical report describes me as being of steady age which makes me wonder if some people's ages are in visible flux. I do not regularly sign my middle name or initial. The surgeon recorded cutting me with a ten blade just below McBurney's point. Even having been opened there, I do not recognize this name as my body.