Reb Livingston mentions the older lady (in the back row at a conference) who rails against the male poet or the male novelist, who says, ‘you just have to work.’ Of course, this male poet — as Reb points out — did not have to change the diapers, pack the lunches or manage the finances. His wife did that!
From Reb Livingston’s blog:
I remember that I don’t want to become the bitter 50 year old woman in the back row listening to my male peer talk about how you “just have to work” if you want to accomplish something, him seemingly forgetting how someone else took care of his children and home and basically his entire fucking life so he could “just work.” I don’t want to be that angry woman in the back row yelling at the moderately famous novelist that he never cleaned his house. Seriously, I recently witnessed that.
I don’t want to be that bitter lady either, and I met her at a writing residency. The one I met was railing on a painter. That’s why I work myself so hard. People say they can’t believe how much I do. I know I’ve written about this before here. Man, I don’t have but so much time to get done what I want to do. It also helps I have a husband who actually does a lot of the child rearing.
